Parents love to act cool and composed in front of their kids, but they can be very predictable in reality. Getting that coveted “yes” is easy once you know which buttons to press.
Win your parent’s approval and get them to give what you want by trying these psychological tips.
Finding the right timing for your request may increase the odds in your favor.
Make sure you catch them when they are in a good mood to avoid getting an instant “no.”
Do not corner them when they are in a hurry or are tired from work. You know your parents best, so learn how to read the room. If you are getting an overall happy aura from them, that is the time to pounce and drop your winning pitch.
Choosing the right venue also matters.
Pick a place where your parents can focus on your conversation and understand what you are requesting of them. This means avoiding crowded places like restaurants or malls.
If you opt to do it at home, find the most laidback area where you can speak comfortably. The relaxed atmosphere will influence their mood, making them more receptive to your request.
Try the commitment and consistency principle with your parents.
Start with something small, then gradually ask for something more elaborate.
For example, you want to get a dog for a pet. This is a big responsibility for you, so they may be hesitant to give you one. Better choose an alternative that is easier to look after, like a guinea pig.
Once your parents get used to the idea of you having a pet and they can see you are responsible, you will see they are more willing to say yes to that dog months or years later.
As it is, they will feel the need to be consistent with their future choices. Your parents already know you can handle responsibility, so they will be more lenient.
They trust that you are dependable and mature enough to do what is right.
Get your parents on board by building goodwill.
Before asking them to buy you something, do them a favor first. This way, they are more inclined to pay you back.
Volunteer to do the dishes or clean the living room if you can see them rushing off to work in the morning. Giving them a kiss or a hug on a tiring day can also go a long way. If their heart is bursting with fondness for you, securing that “yes” will be no trouble.
The thing about receiving gifts is that you feel a subconscious desire to give back.
The next time you ask your parents for something, you will see that they are more motivated to say yes to you.
At the very least, that favor you did will get them to listen to what you are saying and give it a better chance.
Parents will typically not bat an eye when you ask for small things. But when the stakes get bigger, say you want a car or a MacBook, they are not as easily convinced.
In cases like this, you need to be patient and more deliberate in your approach. The key is to show them that you are mature enough to deserve the thing you want.
Learn to figure out which actions will make you look more responsible to them.
Earn credit little by little so that they will see you in a different, more mature light. Once you succeed, asking for that expensive laptop will be easier. Your parents will be eager to give you things that you “deserve” since you act like a grown-up and do not shirk your responsibilities.
Adults tend to feel judged by their parenting skills.
Whether they admit it or not, they care about how they appear to other people.
This is why jumping at any opportunity to make them feel good as parents will benefit you. Build their image in front of family and friends and see how it rebounds right when you need it the most.
The next time you hang out with them in public, be more gracious with your actions.
Make polite talk with their colleagues and work the social scene. Answer well-meaning queries patiently and make your parents proud.
You will find that they are more predisposed to open their wallets to your requests to show their appreciation for your effort.
Appreciation spreads goodwill.
When you approach your parents with a request next, try to infuse an equal amount of thankfulness and solicitation.
Butter them up first, then do the asking after. Do it in good taste, of course. It goes without saying that you are doing this to show you are genuine and not tricking them for personal gain.
Nothing gets you a swifter denial from your parents than making them feel like they owe you something.
So, instead of going straight with, “I need the latest Yeezy, Mom,” start with, “Mom, I appreciate you giving me expensive things sometimes, and I am really grateful.” Whatever comes after will surely be better received.
Never approach your parents expecting an immediate reply to your request.
When they feel pressured and backed into a corner, they are more likely to say “no.”
Instead, give them time to process and think about what you said. Start your conversation with, “Dad, please do not decide right now. Take your time and think about it first before giving me your answer.”
Using this strategy lets your parents fully consider the pros and cons of giving you want. At the same time, they will see that you are mature enough to wait a day or so for their response.
If they are impressed with your attitude, your patience will be rewarded. It can only lead to a better outcome for you.
Avoid using hints. Chances are, your parents will not get them, or they will ignore them altogether.
Instead, be direct with what you want.
Making general comments like, “That smartphone is great, it has all these specs,” will not guarantee you anything. Try a more proactive approach. State exactly why you want it and how it will benefit you.
For example, if you want a new laptop, tell your parents you need it to research and write better compositions for your writing class.
Make sure they understand how the purchase will help you personally and, in turn, how they will benefit from granting your request. This way, it will be a win-win for you both.
If your parents say no the first time, you requested something, stay calm and ask them for a reason.
Do not plead or whine. You will only annoy them.
Show them you are mature and open to conversation and that you can speak and listen with respect. Once you understand why they are saying no to you, act accordingly.
Ask them how you could do better. If they say, “Your grades are not good enough,” work harder and show how you have improved.
“No” does not always mean no.
There is no harm in trying again, but keep yourself in line.
Stay calm and reasonable while you talk it out with your parents. They will likely appreciate how you are handling it the adult way.
Once they see you taking responsibility and going after what you want, they will change their mind sooner rather than later.
Buying the latest iPhone or laptop means spending a considerable sum of money on your parents’ part, so make sure you plan your approach carefully.
Let them know beforehand how having one will help with your schoolwork. Explaining how beneficial the gadget will be to you, in the long run, may convince them that the expensive purchase will be worth it.
Another trick is to make them compare your request to something more expensive. This is called anchoring.
During one of your conversations, casually mention a model’s price that is way pricier than the one you chose. After some time, ask for the laptop that you initially want.
Emphasize how much they can save by buying this one. Your parents will be forced to compare the amount and say yes to the cheaper option.
If you are asking for a car, it means you are old enough to drive and are about to go to college.
A car is expensive, so getting your parents to outright agree with buying you one can be tricky.
Make sure to play your cards right. At this time, they may already be feeling emotional at the thought of you leaving soon. Use this to get what you want.
Ask for that car while they are drowning in affection for you and explain to them you can visit them more often if you own your own car.
Another technique is to match the funds.
You should show your parents that you are happy to shoulder some of the cost of the car.
Work for a summer or two and earn money on your own. Let them see that you are serious with your plans. By doing this, they will realize that you are a responsible kid who knows the value of money and that they are more than willing to help sponsor your request.
It is crucial to get your parents to want a pet emotionally.
If they had one years ago or when they were kids, encourage them to tell you stories about that beloved dog or cat.
Ask for pictures and let them reminisce old memories.
As they recall the rewarding feeling of taking care of a pet, they are more likely to want the same for you and give you the pet you wish for.
If this route does not work, go with the commitment and consistency principle.
Start small and ask for a pet that will be easier to look after, like fish or birds.
how them how you are more than capable of caring for one. Later, when you ask for a dog again, you will see that you will not have to try as hard to convince them. They will be more open to you owning a canine friend.
Parents usually have trust issues with sleepovers.
You have to prove that they can depend on you not to toe the line and behave away from home. The key is building trust for a certain period.
Start with playdates with this person and go from there. Let them get used to the idea of you going out.
Familiarity does not always breed contempt. The more they get to know that person, the more they will feel at ease with you spending time with them.
During this time, make sure to keep your word. There is no harm in admitting a mistake you committed if you are remorseful and promise not to do it again.
Prove that you are trustworthy. If your parents see that they have nothing to be worried about, it will be easier to say yes to that sleepover.
Having your parents agree to you attending a party is probably more grueling than asking them for that sleepover.
A get-together with strangers and possibly with booze involved can be every parent’s worst nightmare.
Before even trying, you have to set the stage. It can take a bit longer since you have to let them get used to going out and having fun.
Do the commitment and consistency principle.
Be patient with your parents. Do not rush them. Try asking them to let you hang out with friends during the day.
After that, get back home on time and in good condition.
Gradually expand your request and see if they are open to you going out some evenings. Once they agree, be extra careful and show how responsible you are.
The next time you ask permission for a party, they will be more amicable and likely say yes to you.